It’s very important, when hiring a screenwriter, to make sure that they aren’t suffering from a terminal case of ADHD.

Perseus: I will do this without the help of the gods!
Some Guy: Our comrades are dying because you won’t let the gods help!
Perseus: It’s important that we show that humans can stand on their own!

That’s a paraphrase, but it’s straight from the film. And while one could argue whether or not Perseus is right, it’s certainly an interesting premise to build a film around.

Unfortunately, the screenwriter forgot the film he was writing. Because as soon as all of Perseus’ comrades have died, Perseus decides to start accepting help from the gods. Apparently Perseus is okay with sacrificing other people for his ideals, but if he has to make the sacrifice himself? Forget it.

And it would be one thing if Perseus was forced to make the hard and deliberate choice to abandon his conviction. Or, in fact, if the film had shown him making any kind of choice whatsoever. But that’s not what happens: Instead he just kind of shrugs his shoulders and changes his tune. Heck, even that’s an exageration: He, along with the film, simply forgets that there was ever any sort of “fight the gods” plot happening.

Then, just to make things a little more half-assed, at the end of the film Zeus revives Perseus’ girlfriend so that they can live happily ever after. All of the other poor schmucks who died because Perseus was a dick? Perseus doesn’t care.

Because Perseus is a dick.

The rest of the script is just kind of a fractal variation on this core failure of logic and character arc. On the plus side, the special effects are pretty cool.

Lithographie de la Legende rustique de George Sand, 1858, Paris

Figthing with HTML code has chewed up some of the time I was planning to spend on lycanthropic templates, so I’m a day behind on my lycanthropes, but we’ll get to all of them before we’re done. Today we’re looking at the grand-daddy of them all: Werewolves.

As a reminder, these templates are designed to streamline and simplify the process of creating lycanthropes for 3.5:

(1) Create a stat block for the base creature.

(2) Apply the lycanthrope template in order to create the stat block for the humanoid form.

(3) Apply the hybrid template to the humanoid form in order to create the stat block for the hybrid form.

(4) Apply the animal form template to the humanoid form in order to create the stat block for the animal form.

WEREWOLF TEMPLATES

WEREWOLF TEMPLATE
Apply this template to the base creature to create the werewolf’s humanoid form. This template can be added to any humanoid or giant.

Size and Type: Creature gains the “shapechanger” subtype.
Hit Dice and Hit Points: Add 2d8 hit die to the base creature.
Armor Class: +2 bonus to natural armor.
Base Attack: +1 BAB

Special Qualities: alternate form, lycanthropic empathy, low-light vision, scent

Base Save Bonuses: Fort +3, Ref +3
Abilities: Wis +2, may gain an ability score increase due to additional hit dice
Skills: Gains (2 + Int modifier) skill points, treating Hide, Listen, Move Silently, Spot, and Survival as class skills.
Feats: Track, Weapon Focus (bite)

Challenge Rating: +2

WEREWOLF HYBRID TEMPLATE
Apply this template to the werewolf’s humanoid form to create the stat block for its hybrid form.

Size and Type: Medium or the size of the base creature, whichever is larger.
Armor Class: +4 natural armor (if better than the humanoid form’s natural armor)
Attacks: Gains 2 claw attacks and 1 bite as a secondary attack (-5 penalty).

Special Attacks: curse of lycanthropy (Fort DC 15); cannot cast spells with verbal components
Special Qualities: DR 5/silver for afflicted lycanthropes; DR 10/silver for natural lycanthropes

Abilities: Str +2, Dex +4, Con +4

WEREWOLF ANIMAL FORM TEMPLATE
Apply this template to the werewolf’s humanoid form to create the stat block for its animal form.

Size and Type: Medium
Speed: 50 ft.
Armor Class: +4 natural armor
Attacks: Replace all attacks with a bite attack (1d6 and lycanthropy)

Special Attacks: Replace base creature’s special attacks with trip and curse of lycanthropy (Fort DC 15); cannot cast spells with verbal, somatic, or material components
Special Qualities: DR 5/silver for afflicted lycanthropes; DR 10/silver for natural lycanthropes

Abilities: Str +2, Dex +4, Con +4
Skills: +4 racial bonus on Survival checks when tracking by scent.

THE SPIDER WEIRD OF HOLLOW’S DEEP

Werewolves are a dime a dozen, so I wanted to do something truly unusual to showcase the templates. In doing so I’ve technically broken the rules by applying a lycanthropic template to a magical beast. But if you don’t tell anybody, I won’t.

The Spider Weird is a horrific creature which haunts the dark woods around the village of Hollow’s Deep. It usually leaves the villagers alone, preferring to hunt the game animals of the forest. But upon occasion — when the villagers rile its anger or perhaps when the blood moon rises — the Spider Weird will inflict a reign of terror.

The Spider Weird is an aranea which was infected with lycanthropy while in its spider-humanoid form. The mixture of its natural shapechanging abilities and the lycanthropic curse allow it to assume four shapes: A monstrous spider, a black-eyed elf, a spider-wolf hybrid, and a wolf.

SPIDER WEIRD – MONSTROUS SPIDER (CR 6) – N Medium Magical Beast (Shapechanger)

DETECTION – darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Listen +7, Spot +7; Init +7; Languages Common, Sylvan

DEFENSES – AC 16 (+3 Dex, +3 natural), touch 13, flat-footed 13; hp 35 (3d10+2d8+10)

ACTIONS – Spd 50 ft., climb 25 ft.; Melee bite +8 (1d6 and poison); Ranged web +7; Space 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft.; Base Atk +4; Grapple +4; SA poison, spells, web

SQ change shape, darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, lycanthropic empathy, scent

STR 11, DEX 16, CON 14, INT 14, WIS 15, CHA 14
FORT +8, REF +9, WILL +5

FEATS: Improved Initiative, Iron Will*, Track, Weapon Finesse, Weapon Focus (bite)

SKILLS: Climb +14, Concentration +8, Escape Artist +5, Hide +11, Jump +13*, Listen +7*, Spot +7*

SPIDER WEIRD – ELF FORM (CR 6) – N Medium Magical Beast (Shapechanger)

DETECTION – darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Listen +7, Spot +7; Init +7; Languages Common, Sylvan

DEFENSES – AC 20 (+3 Dex, +3 natural, +4 masterwork chain shirt), touch 13, flat-footed 17; hp 35 (3d10+2d8+10)

ACTIONS – Spd 50 ft., climb 25 ft.; Melee +1 rapier +7 (1d6 and poison, 18-20/x2); Ranged +7; Space 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft.; Base Atk +4; Grapple +4; SA spells

SQ change shape, darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, lycanthropic empathy, scent

STR 11, DEX 16, CON 14, INT 14, WIS 15, CHA 14
FORT +8, REF +9, WILL +5

FEATS: Improved Initiative, Iron Will*, Track, Weapon Finesse, Weapon Focus (bite)

SKILLS: Climb +13, Concentration +8, Escape Artist +4, Hide +11, Jump +12*, Listen +7*, Spot +7*

POSSESSIONS: +1 rapier, masterwork chain shirt

SPIDER WEIRD – SPIDER-WOLF HYBRID (CR 6) – N Medium Magical Beast (Shapechanger)

DETECTION – darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Listen +7, Spot +7; Init +9; Languages Common, Sylvan

DEFENSES – AC 23 (+5 Dex, +4 natural, +4 masterwork chain shirt), touch 15, flat-footed 18; hp 45 (3d10+2d8+20); DR 5/silver

ACTIONS – Spd 50 ft., climb 25 ft.; Melee 2 claws +9 (1d4+1) or +1 rapier +9 (1d6+1, 18-20/x2) and bite +10 (1d6+1 and lycanthropy, poison); Ranged web +9; Space 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft.; Base Atk +4; Grapple +5; SA curse of lycanthropy, poison, spells, web

SQ change shape, darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, lycanthropic empathy, scent

STR 13, DEX 20, CON 18, INT 14, WIS 15, CHA 14

FORT +10, REF +11, WILL +5

FEATS: Improved Initiative, Iron Will*, Track, Weapon Finesse, Weapon Focus (bite)

SKILLS: Climb +14, Concentration +10, Escape Artist +6, Hide +12, Jump +13*, Listen +7*, Spot +7*

POSSESSIONS: +1 rapier, masterwork chain shirt

SPIDER WEIRD – WOLF FORM (CR 6) – N Medium Magical Beast (Shapechanger)

DETECTION – darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Listen +7, Spot +7; Init +9; Languages Common, Sylvan

DEFENSES – AC 19 (+5 Dex, +4 natural), touch 15, flat-footed 14; hp 45 (3d10+2d8+20); DR 5/silver

ACTIONS – Spd 50 ft; Melee bite +10 (1d6+1 and lycanthropy); Ranged +9; Space 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft.; Base Atk +4; Grapple +5; SA curse of lycanthropy, trip

SQ change shape, darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, lycanthropic empathy, scent

STR 13, DEX 20, CON 18, INT 14, WIS 15, CHA 14
FORT +10, REF +11, WILL +5

FEATS: Improved Initiative, Iron Will*, Track, Weapon Finesse, Weapon Focus (bite)

SKILLS: Climb +15, Concentration +10, Escape Artist +7, Hide +13, Jump +14*, Listen +7*, Spot +7*

Sorcerer Spells Known (CL 3)
1^st (6/day, DC 13)—mage armor, silent image, sleep
0^th (6/day, DC 12)—daze, detect magic, ghost sound, light, resistance

Change Shape (Su): Switch forms as a standard action.
Curse of Lycanthropy (Su): Fort DC 15
Lycanthropic Empathy (Ex): Communicate with wolves and dire wolves; +4 bonus on Charisma-based checks against them.
Poison – Spider or Elf (Ex): Injury, Fort DC 14, 1d6 Str/2d6 Str
Poison – Hybrid (Ex): Injury, Fort DC 16, 1d6 Str/2d6 Str
Scent (Ex): Detect presence within 30 feet (60 feet upwind, 15 feet downwind). Strong scents at double that range; overpowering at triple. Detect direction as move action. Pinpoint within 5 feet.
Web (Ex): 6/day, range 50 ft., range increment 10 ft. cts like net, anchors target in place. Effective against Large or smaller creatures.
*Skills: Can always choose to take 10 on Climb checks. In wolf form, gain +4 bonus to Survival checks made while tracking with scent.

In order to create the stat blocks for these forms, I:

(1) Prepped stat blocks of a normal aranea’s monstrous spider and humanoid forms. (I added armor and weapons to the latter.)

(2) To create the Spider Weird’s monstrous spider form, I applied the base werewolf template to the aranea’s monstrous spider stat block.

(3) To create the Spider Weird’s elf form, I applied the base werewolf template to the aranea’s humanoid stat block.

(4) To create the Spider Weird’s spider-wolf hybrid form, I applied the werewolf hybrid template to the Spider Weird’s monstrous spider form and then added the weapons and armor from its humanoid stat block.

(5) Finally, to create the Spider Weird’s wolf form I applied the werewolf animal form template to the Spider Weird’s monstrous spider stat block.

Without these werewolf templates I honestly would have never even considered trying to create the Spider Weird. Way too complicated. With the templates it took about 30 minutes to put the four stat blocks together. (I spent more time fussing with the HTML and CSS to make this page look half-way decent.)

This material is covered by the Open Gaming License.

China sure is a small place in the world of the new Karate Kid.

(Although I suppose it’s really no worse than having the Eiffel Tower visible from every point in Paris.)

But that gentle ribbing aside, despite my skepticism of this nepotism-driven create-a-star vehicle, I was very impressed with the new movie. There are a few rough edges that are left inexplicably hanging out and the final tournament sequence lacks the satisfying punch and pace of the original movie, but where the movie excels are in the small details: The cinematography is gorgeous. The performances from Jaden Smith, Jackie Chan, and Wen Wen Han (who played the love interest Meiying) are nuanced.

And there are multiple scenes which are just flat-out emotionally beautiful. The sequence where Dre helps Mr. Han out of the car is one of the most powerful things I’ve seen in the cinema recently.

Is this better or worse than the original? Having seen the movie, I find the question almost meaningless. They told the same story, but they made it their own. It’s a different film, good and bad in its own ways, standing on its own.

Last week I posted a rant about the difficulty of creating lycanthropic stat blocks in 3rd Edition. The short version is this: Creating lycanthropes require you to create three separate stat blocks simultaneously while pulling information from both the base creature and the animal form. You end up juggling five stat blocks and if you discover that you need (or want) to make an adjustment on any one of them during the creation process you have to backtrack the change through all the other stat blocks.

Dear Prince of Persia,

You have one gimmick: A dagger that lets you rewind time.

You might want to try using it to some meaningful effect at some point during your movie.

Sincerely,

Justin Alexander

In all seriousness, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is a fairly entertaining action-adventure flick. But it’s not particularly clever, and that’s disappointing because a dagger that lets you rewind time should give you plenty of opportunities for cleverness.

I think the film’s real source of struggle is that they turn the Prince into the infallible star of an action movie: For example, one sequence has him effortlessly surf his way down an avalanche of sand, parkour-leap perfectly onto a narrow ledge, and somersault his way into the next chamber. And he’s doing that sort of thing pretty consistently throughout the entire movie.

But the essential nature of the dagger of time is that it lets you erase your mistakes. So if you never let your prototypical action hero make any mistakes, then you’re knee-capping your premise. The disappointing thing here is that the dagger of time gives you the opportunity to create a prototypical action hero who is still a fallible human being (because he achieves that action hero perfection through the use of the dagger) — thus re-creating cinematically the same basic appeal that the game had.

The film also chickens out of using the incredibly funny-yet-bittersweet ending from the original game, opting instead for a paint-by-numbers Hollywood Romance ending. Which I, personally, find disappointing.

Final analysis: Fun to see, but nothing you’re going to remember six months from now.