I think my eyes are bleeding.

Review Originally Published May 21st, 2001

I knew I was in trouble with Galal’s Grave when I read this on the very first page: “Enmity between Elf and Dwarf was laid aside to sunder Evil else all was lost.”

Perhaps I was merely rushing to judgment – and there was, in fact, some perfectly good reason for the elves and dwarves to go around separating “Evil” into pieces (rather than doing more logical things, such as eliminating or destroying it). But if there was such a reason, it remains blissfully undisclosed within the pages of this module.

The mislaid cliché and questionable thesaurus-dipping of that passage, unfortunately, is only slightly indicative of a tone which infects the entire introduction of the adventure. The inexplicable “Evil” makes war with “Elves” and “Dwarves”, which are sometimes referred to as “Good” and, puzzlingly, as the “fey”. We learn that the Elves had a hero in Galal, and the dwarves had a hero in Balor – who were both killed when “Evil surprised the force of Good”. (Strangely this happened at a time when the “forces of Good” were both “poised to eradicate the remnants of Evil” and “in the midst of overwhelming odds”). Galal and Balor were buried in “unknown graves”.

PLOT

Warning: This review will contain spoilers for Galal’s Grave. Players who may find themselves playing in this adventure should not read beyond this point.

You know, I don’t really have any objections to alliteration, per se. For example, I don’t have anything against “Galal’s Grave” as a title. But I have to admit that I’m more than a little skeptical about the adventure starting in an inn named “Gulum’s Gullet”. I mean, honestly, people. We’re in the middle of a G shortage.

This is, of course, where the PCs enter the picture: They come to the Gullet through a number of possible hooks – ranging from the cliched (they’re on their way to a “city filled with adventure” when they stop at the inn) to the bizarre: “It is the 79th anniversary of Galal and Balor and strange lights have once again been sighted around Gulum’s Gullet, an inn within a nearby village. Last year was the 78th consecutive year the lights have appeared. Perhaps one of the graves is nearby?” Perhaps. But other questions abound: Why does the 79th anniversary suddenly have people making the connection? Why is Gullum’s Gullet named instead of the village as a whole? If it was “four score and seven years ago” (87 years ago) that the struggle with “Evil” took place (as we are told on page 2), why is it now only 79 years since it took place?

Anyway. Once you’ve got the PCs in the inn (which is frequented by everyone from peasants to merchants to mercenaries to nobles), they’ll hear a gleeman recite a poem about Galal and Balor. Afterwards the gleeman will tell them that “’tis no secret where Galal is buried” – despite the fact that, two pages earlier, we were told that nobody knew where he was buried. (Which is okay, because, quite frankly, it’s pretty silly for the secret to have been “lost in time” when it happened within the lifetime of your average elf and dwarf.)

If they follow the gleeman’s “exacting directions” they will come upon a path, which they can follow. The only trick is that – at one point – the path branches in two: One path (which has been marked by a boulder as the “path of life”) leads away from the grave. The other path (which has been marked the “path of death”) leads to the grave. This was done by dwarves who were asked to aid the elves in their “deception.” Yeah, those tricky elves – marking the path to a GRAVE as a path of DEATH.

Who am I to judge, though? It’s apparently worked for the past 79 and/or 87 years.

At this point there are several keyed descriptions. Unfortunately, it appears that they forgot to print the map for this part of the adventure and it’s practically impossible to render any sort of connected sense out of it. A few choice bits of illogic do appear, though: For example, an orc shaman who believes that a sentient tree holds a legendary blade demands that the tree hand it over. The tree refuses. The shaman responds by killing the tree and cursing it to act as a prison for the legendary blade. Oh, that crafty orc shaman. He got just what he wanted.

…

… wait a minute.

Anyway, things proceed pretty normally once the PCs are inside the prison tree. Maps for the interior of the tree are included (poorly done as they are), and the adventure reveals itself as a fairly boring and cliched dungeon – despite the interesting premise of locale.

To add insult to injury, it turns out at the end of the day that this is just a false crypt. The real grave of Galal is somewhere else entirely. Ha ha. Gotcha.

To which one is forced to reply:

Who cares?

OTHER WEAKNESSES

Galal’s Grave compounds its other problems with a mediocre lay-out and overall design. Adding to this sense of amateurism, unfortunately, is the artwork of Derek T. Stevens. At times Stevens betrays moments of high quality which are made even more noteworthy by the distinctively exotic character of his work (for example, the pieces on pages 11 and 15 of Galal’s Grave). At other times, however, Stevens betrays his neophyte status (most notably in pieces such as that found on page 8 of Galal’s Grave).

CONCLUSION

I would like to say Galal’s Grave is not without its strong points. I hate telling lies, though, so I can’t.

In the final analysis I’m afraid the conclusion is self-evident: The OGL and D20 trademark licenses have produced some products of truly exceptional quality. Galal’s Grave, on the other hand, represents the other end of the spectrum that we all knew would crop up sooner or later: A poor vision, compounded with amateur production values and layers of cliches deep enough to choke a horse.

Style: 2
Substance: 1

Title: Galal’s Grave
Authors: Jamie Lloyd
Company: Fiend Games
Line: D20
Price: $6.00
ISBN: 1-931275-00-9
Production Code: TLG1501
Pages: 22

When discussing the OGL and similar open licenses, some people will point to adventures like Galal’s Grave and conclude that the OGL is a mistake. “Look at all the garbage!”

I have a different mindset: As Theodore Sturgeon said, 90% of everything is crap.

Look not at the worst that the OGL or science fiction or television has to offer. Instead, consider all of the priceless gems and wonders which we would otherwise not have.

As for the rest of it?

Well, that’s why we have reviews.

For an explanation of where these reviews came from and why you can no longer find them at RPGNet, click here.