The Alexandrian

Fun With Vornheim

April 8th, 2011

UPDATE: The author of this book has been credibly accused of being a serial abuser and rapist. Although I am leaving this post up, I cannot recommend that anyone purchase this or any of his other works, as he has also demonstrated that he will use income from projects like this to continue harassing his victims.

Vornheim - Zak S.Vornheim: The Complete City Kit by Zak S. of Playing D&D With Porn Stars is available for pre-order. And if you pre-order you can immediately download a PDF copy.

Which I did.

I’ve actually been looking forward to Vornheim with the most excitement I’ve felt towards any RPG product since Monte Cook’s Ptolus. I’m not entirely sure why, but every single thing I read about this book mademe say, “Yup. This is something I need to buy.”

I haven’t had a chance to fully digest the book yet, but I am having fun with it. Which is why I’m recommending that you buy a copy for yourself ASAP.

It should be noted that only about half the book is dedicated to describing Vornheim itself (a city from Zak S.’s campaign). But even here pretty much everything is presented in a format which makes it immediately and palpably gameable (a tribute which I think has become strongly undervalued in too many products which are ostensibly supporting roleplaying games). Vornheim has a unique, metal-punk flavor all its own; but even if you don’t use Vornheim itself, you’ll find that it’s easy to grab chunks of it to inject a little weirdness into your own campaigns.

It’s the other half of the book, though, that got me really excited. This is the section where Zak S. lays out a panoply of practical tools for running “urbancrawl” adventures. Stuff like: On-the-fly neighborhood streets. On-the-fly building floorplans. How to leverage the legal system for flexible, entertaining interactions. Rules for searching libraries. NPC generators. Book generators. And on and on and on and on.

Not everything Vornheim presents resonates with me. And I can say with a fair degree of confidence that much of it — perhaps even most of it — will not find its way into my permanent toolkit. But there’s so much of it that even the fraction that does resonate with me and will permanently improve my games makes Vornheim well worth every penny I spent on it.

And because the book presents such a cornucopia of useful material, I can pretty much guarantee you that if you have any interest in running urban-based fantasy at any point in your campaign, then you, too, will find it worth every penny.

One particular tool presented in Vornheim is so cool I’m not entirely sure how to discuss it without spoiling it. You know how useful a properly designed GM screen can be? Well, I’m pretty confident that Zak S. is going to revolutionize the utility and lay-out of my GMing space with what I’m referring to as “GM tablemats”. These are graphical charts which are designed to be rolled on. Not rolled and then consulted: You literally roll dice on the table and the position of the dice immediately feeds you useful information.

In fact, trying to discuss this book without simply spoiling its contents is quite difficult. So instead, let me share its awesomeness by way of example.

FLOORPLAN SHORTCUT

Here’s a floorplan that took me 30 seconds to roll up using the “Floorplan Shortcut” on page 38 of Vornheim:

Vornheim - Floorplan

The “pretty” version of it shown here took me another 4 minutes to quickly map using Dundjinni, but I was able to generate the usable-at-the-table version in less time than it takes to resolve the PC rogue picking the lock on the front door.

A quick flip to the back cover, a roll on the GM tablemat there, and I discover that this is a clockmaker’s house.

More Fun With Vornheim: A Noble Drama

Oh! Gnomes!

April 6th, 2011

Oh! Gnomes!

Squish the gnomes! SQUISH THEM GOOD!

Wizards know that you should never keep your money under your mattress. That’s why you’ve placed your coins in a decorative circle in the garden and enchanted a magical groundling to guard them.

But now the garden gnomes are coming to steal your coins to fund their nefarious schemes! It seems easy enough to keep them at bay (just crush them with your thumbs!), but as the elves will tell you: Never trust a gnome! They’re wily creatures, and before you know it squishing won’t be enough to stop them.

Oh Gnomes!

Available for the Android NOW
Coming to the iPhone SOON

EDIT: This post didn’t have enough context. I didn’t have anything to do with this game, but I have done some scripting work for some other unreleased projects from Groundling Games. This particular post was just me saying, “This game is fun! Check it out!”

Green Lantern: No Fear - Geoff JohnsEvery so often I give Geoff Johns a chance to convince me that he’s not a hack. I do this because he keeps getting such glowing praise that I think to myself, “It must be that I just haven’t read the right Geoff Johns comics.”

But it never works. Every time I try reading something by Geoff Johns, I always find the same thing: Mediocrity.

My latest effort has been his work on Green Lantern. I started with Green Lantern: Secret Origin (which was a decent retelling of the origin story), continued with Green Lantern: Rebirth (which was a passable effort at making a pure Tale of Grand Retcon(TM) something other than a mind-numbing exercise in dotting your i’s and crossing your t’s on the way to explaining why some other set of stories never actually happened), and landed in Green Lantern: No Fear.

These pages from the last of these volumes, taken from two back-to-back stories, tell you pretty much everything you need to know about Geoff Johns.

Green Lantern - Geoff Johns

Green Lantern - Geoff Johns

(You can click for larger images.)

While the surface quality has been changed, those pages both tell the exact same story: Random and essentially nameless man and woman chat for a couple of panels. The big bad guy for the issue shows up and slaughters the man in a gruesome fashion. The death of the woman is then implied, but left off-panel so that we can imagine it in our own gruesome detail.

I don’t have a problem with the story. (The first artist, in particular, does a great job of pacing it and that final panel of red is inspired.) I do have a problem with the fact that Johns is repeating himself in the most formulaic fashion.

It would be one thing if this was just some random nitpick. But the real problem here is that these pages are merely the most perfect encapsulation of what’s wrong with these volumes: At both the micro level and the macro level, Johns repeats himself. And repeats himself. And repeats himself. And repeats himself…

And once you’ve noticed it, you also can’t help noticing that Johns is also repeating a lot of other people, too.

I don’t mean this in the sense of plagiarism. I just mean that there is absolutely nothing interesting or inspiring in anything that Johns has to say: We’ve seen these stories before. And we’ve seen them done better.

If you’re brand new to superhero comics, then you might potentially find Johns’ work nifty. It’s a workman-like rendition of nifty stuff drawn from what is clearly Johns’ own passion for superhero stories. But unlike Kurt Busiek or Grant Morrison or Mark Waid (when he’s at his best), there is absolutely nothing transformative or reinvigorating or fresh in anything that Johns is doing. Instead, it’s paint-by-numbers storytelling so predictable in its technique that it’s as if Johns is dealing a hand of poker using transparent cards.

But I’m a sucker, so give me another five years and I’ll probably give the guy another shot.

GRADES:

GREEN LANTERN – SECRET ORIGIN: D
GREEN LANTERN – REBIRTH: D-
GREEN LANTERN – NO FEAR: F

Geoff Johns
Published: 2008 / 2005 / 2005
Publisher: DC Comics
Cover Price: $19.99 / $14.99 / $12.99
ISBN: 1401230857 / 1401227554 / 1401210589
Buy Now!

This tip has been updated and revised. The new version can be found here.

A couple rules of thumb I use for crafting evocative descriptions as a GM:

THREE OF FIVE: Think about your five senses. Try to include three of them in each description. Sight is a gimme and a Taste will rarely apply, so that means picking a couple out of Hearing, Smell, and Touch. Remember that you don’t actually have to touch something in order to intuit what it might feel like if you did.

TWO COOL DETAILS: Try to include two irrelevant-but-cool details. These are details that aren’t necessary for the encounter/room to function, but are still cool. It’s the broken cuckoo clock in the corner; the slightly noxious odor with no identifiable source; the graffiti scrawled on the wall; the bio-luminescent fungus; etc.

THREE-BY-THREE: Delta’s 1-2-(3)-Infinity talks about psychological research demonstrating that repeating something three times takes up the same space in our brains as repeating something infinitely. Thus, once you’ve hit the third item in a sequence, any additional items in that sequence are redundant.

Extrapolating from this, for minor scenes you can describe three things each with a single detail. At that point, you’ve filled up the “infinity queue” in your players’ brains and their imaginations will impulsively fill in the finer details of the scene you’ve evoked. For “epic” descriptions, use the full three-by-three: Describe three different elements with three details each.

Like most rules of thumb, of course, none of these should be treated like straitjackets.

I’ve been cautiously optimistic about the Green Lantern film coming out because it seemed to be truly embracing the cosmic aspect of the character. The truly cosmic, science fiction elements of mainstream superheroes are an aspect which previous films have deliberately shied away from. (Rise of the Silver Surfer and X-Men 3, for example, both galloped away from Galactus and the true scope of the Phoenix Saga as quickly as possible, for example.) So seeing a film that didn’t seem afraid to shy away from some of the coolest stuff in the superhero mythos is potentially exciting.

But I’ll be honest that the trailer they’ve been showing hasn’t exactly filled me with a lot of confidence.

A few days ago, however, this footage from WonderCon was released:

And I am now 100% sold on this movie. The release date cannot get here fast enough.

If you’ve been skeptical about Green Lantern until now, check out this new footage. One can only hope that they start distributing it as the new trailer sooner rather than later, because it’s selling the movie in way that the existing trailer completely failed to do.

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