The Alexandrian

Saruman

DISCUSSING
In the Shadow of the Spire – Session 34A: In the Dust of the Old City

You can assure Reggaloch that additional slaves will be sent to him within the week. We have become very interested to discover what our Brothers of Venom are doing that requires such a constant flow of common flock. We have asked Illadras, but she has told us not to concern ourselves with it. Be cautious, but discover what you can.

Urnest

Sauron and Saruman.

The similarity in their names — and the confusion it’s engendered in generations of book-readers and film-watchers — is often held up as a cautionary tale to writers: If character names are too similar to each other, it will make it difficult for your readers to differentiate them.

In the specific case of Sauron and Saruman, the confusion was so feared that, infamously, Saruman’s name was changed to Aruman in Ralph Bakshi’s animated version of The Lord of the Rings.

The questionable wisdom of Bakshi’s decision aside, this is nevertheless advice also well-heeded by GMs.

This confusion of names is actually something I ran afoul of in this session. In brief:

  • Urnst is the name of the Commissar who rules the city of Ptolus.
  • Urnest is the name of a chaos cultist based out of the Temple of the Rat God.

So when my players encountered this note from Urnest, the entire group was suddenly filled with dread: Oh, no! The Commissar is in league with the cultists!

… and this was despite the fact that they’d already made this mistake once before.

In that older installment of Running the Campaign, I talked about how and why you can maneuver your way out of that situation, but I wanted to approach it from a slightly different angle today: While acknowledging the logistical challenges that can be created by similar names, why would you want to nevertheless have similar names?

First, if you’re dealing with a sufficiently large cast of characters (which is not unusual in a long-running RPG campaign), it can simply be a matter of necessity. For example, you’ll sometimes hear the Sauron/Saruman rule given as, “You should never have two character names with the same first letter.”

Except that would mean never including more than twenty-six characters, and then only if you’re willing to include some exotic X’s and Z’s and the like. (Although this is quite a bit easier in your typical fantasy fare.)

Second, there could by any number of practical reasons for doing so. Tolkien, for example, may have chosen the names deliberately for their similarity and the thematic resonance it would have in the book. Or, because the names were ultimately derived from the languages he had created from Middle Earth, the linguistic world-building may have been the most important factor for him. (He never commented on this issue, so we don’t really know if it ever occurred to him.)

Similarly, in the Ptolus sourcebook there are two more characters named Urnst: Vladimir and Taltos Urnst are alchemists operating a shop in the Undercity. Unlike Urnest, however, the similarity of their names to Commissar Igor Urnst is not a coincidence, as they “claim to be distant cousins of the Commissar…”

When you have similarly named characters, though, there are a few things you can do to help your players (and maybe even yourself) keep things straight:

  • Keep the characters in different spheres of the campaign from each other — different locations or different factions, for example.
  • Is there a different name that they could be referred to? (A first name or nickname, for example.)
  • Give one or more of the characters a title (Lord, Chancellor, Empress) and use it consistently to distinguish the characters.
  • Provide context reminders to help nudge your players’ memory (e.g., “Tessa, who you meet at the tavern last week…”).

Some of these tips are a good idea even if the character’s name ISN’T similar to anyone else!

Campaign Journal: Session 34B – Running the Campaign: TBD
In the Shadow of the Spire: Index

Ptolus - In the Shadow of the Spire
IN THE SHADOW OF THE SPIRE

SESSION 34A: IN THE DUST OF THE OLD CITY

January 5th, 2009
The 18th Day of Kadal in the 790th Year of the Seyrunian Dynasty

Night of Dissolution - Map of the Old City (Monte Cook Games)

They decided to pursue Theral and the ratling west through the illusionary wall. On the other side they found a vast, open chamber – clearly of new construction, with walls, floor, and ceiling formed of dark stones laid in strange patterns. To the south there was a flight of stairs and to the west there was another hall leading out of the chamber.

Based on what Uranik had told them, they guessed that the stairs to the south would lead back to the sewers. They thought it likely that Theral might have fled in that direction. Or, if not, then they could quickly eliminate it as a possibility.

At the top of the short flight of stairs they found a rust- and grime-free door of iron. From this side it was obvious that the door had been rigged with a simple wire-based alarm bell. Tee snipped the wire on the crude mechanical device and then opened the door.

They’d been right: The door opened directly into the sewers. Agnarr studied the ground, but couldn’t pick any clear or particular trail from the morass of tracks in the slime and muck of the walkway. If Theral had gone this way, he could be anywhere in Ptolus already.

They took the western hall, following it as it winded its way into a medium-sized chamber littered with garbage and feces. Amid piles of rotting refuse they could see, here and there, hollowed out rats’ nests of various sizes and shapes.

Tee took one look at the disgusting muck and decided that she didn’t want to waste her time poking through it.

“But we have to search!” Agnarr said with a grunt and started bull-headedly digging his way through the piles, sending various globs of filth flying into the air.

The others groaned at Agnarr’s display, but then Tee’s sharp eyes saw a folded piece of parchment suddenly tossed up into the air. Reaching out she snatched it.

A few minutes passed and Agnarr eventually gave up and turned back to them – his hands and forearms caked in a brown film of filth. “I guess there’s nothing here.”

Tee held up the letter.

URNEST’S LETTER

You can assure Reggaloch that additional slaves will be sent to him within the week. We have become very interested to discover what our Brothers of Venom are doing that requires such a constant flow of common flock. We have asked Illadras, but she has told us not to concern ourselves with it. Be cautious, but discover what you can.

Urnest

INTO THE OLD CITY

They were badly fatigued from their exertions over the past two hours and the spellcasters – particularly Ranthir – had almost completely depleted their mystic reserves.

But if they didn’t push on, they would lose the advantage of surprise. They weren’t sure what waited for them below – down the stairs that Vocaetun had attempted to flee – but they were certain that if they left they would find these halls freshly held against them when they returned.

And so down they went.

After turning many times, the old and worn stairs bottomed out into a large cavern. Pieces of fairly crude (and very old) masonry jutted out of the cavern walls here and there. The far side of the cavern ended in a wall of ancient clay bricks, out of which bulged a half-ruined tower that extended from roof to ceiling.

Ranthir recognized these ruins for what they were, and explained it to the others as they moved down onto the hard-packed dirt floor: These were the remains of the original city of Ptolus, founded by the great sorcerer who had apprenticed Danar and been destroyed by the Banelord. It was known that many such remnants of the ancient city could still be found, having been swallowed up figuratively by time and literally by the earth.

Tee left the others behind and crossed to the door in the wall of the tower. Agnarr followed, but not too closely.

Tee quickly ascertained that the door wasn’t locked, but spent a few more moments performing a quick inspection for traps. She began to turn back towards the others to announce the all-clear—

And, with an implosion of sulphur-laced air, a dog-sized rat with flame spewing from its eye-sockets appeared directly behind her.

If she hadn’t already started turning, she might have been caught completely off-guard. Instead, as the rat launched itself towards her, she was able to spin to one side – leaving the rat to thud loudly into the door behind her.

As the rat whirled back to her, Tee rolled onto her back and stabbed up through its neck. Almost simultaneously, Agnarr – who had come rushing forward – stabbed down through its head. Their blades crossed through its throat.

As the rat squalled a dying scream, Tee’s sharp ears caught the soft murmurings of arcane chants coming from somewhere above them. But before she could shout a warning to the others, she was suddenly afflicted with a magical malaise that left her dazed.

Agnarr, seeing her eyes glaze over, frowned with concern. “Tee? Are you all right?”

Running the Campaign: A Confusion of NamesCampaign Journal: Session 34B
In the Shadow of the Spire: Index

Review: Keeper Tips

January 23rd, 2024

Keeper Trips - Chaosium (2021)

Released by Chaosium in 2021 as part of the 40th Anniversary celebrations for Call of Cthulhu, Keeper Tips: Collected Wisdom on Running Games is a pocket-sized hardcover filled with exactly what the title promises — a motley collection of small tips and random thoughts, each generally no longer than a paragraph, about running Call of Cthulhu games and RPGs in general.

(A “Keeper,” for those out of the loop, is what a game master is referred to as in Call of Cthulhu.)

It’s a handsome volume, with a faux-leather cover and gilt print accompanied by a burgundy bookmark ribbon. Very much the sort of thing you can drop into a pocket and draw out from time to ruminate upon its contents, which are roughly divided into a number of categories:

  • Ground Rules
  • Inclusivity
  • Preparation
  • Players
  • Sensitivity
  • Designing Scenarios
  • Gameplay
  • Keepering
  • Horror
  • Sanity
  • The Cthulhu Mythos
  • Non-Player Characters
  • Monsters
  • Online Play
  • Props & Handouts
  • Miscellaneous

The tips themselves are drawn from almost two dozen Keepers associated with Call of Cthulhu from its very beginning to its most recent days. As editor Mike Mason writes, “Some of the tips are contradictory. Some repeat or reinforce advice. Imagine, if you will, that you are sat with a group of experienced Keepers, each sharing and building upon the ideas of the others. Take from this what you will.”

As you read through Keeper Tips, you will undoubtedly encounter much that is familiar, much that you agree with, and also much that you will disagree with. You may even read certain passages that will raise your hackles. But as I’ve slowly worked my way through the book, it has never failed to provoke a thoughtful insight.

I say “slowly,” and indeed this is how I would recommend one experience Keeper Tips. It’s a collection that invites you to read perhaps one or two pages at a time and then set it aside while you think about what you’ve read. Was there some new insight? How will you use it? Was there a unique twist or perspective on something you’ve done yourself? Is there something you vehemently disagree with? Why do you think it wrong and what would you do differently? Is this tip useful for tables with new players, experienced players, or both? And why?

Then, perhaps later in the day or the next day or a week later, you’ll pick the book up again and choose another page to meditate upon. Perhaps the next page. Or perhaps one that you flip to randomly.

To gives you a sampling of what you can expect to find inside, consider these tips:

Counsel your players to create characters that are involved in the story, rather than be passive observers. Example: an expedition to the Antarctic will be an active game for scientists and explorers, not so much for the pilot and radio operator.

Undermine the pillars of the PCs’ confidence. Are they members of an anti-Mythos organization? Drop hints that it has been infiltrated. Do they have academic allies? Strike those mentors with public disgrace. Do they have family? Keep the PCs afraid for them — or of them. Do they have high social statue or loads of income? Chip away at that through media gossip, the Company Board turning on them, threats of unemployment, a hostile company takeover, or a stock market slide.

When making NPCs, assign each of them an adjective (greedy, suspicious, trusting, etc.). This makes them easier to portray in a memorable and fun way for the players.

Pre-made NPCs can be useful as instant replacement investigators.

For an extended game, ask about an investigator’s history, and then say, “What was your first experience with the Mythos?” and let them make it up. The reason is to get past the boring, “No, no, this isn’t real,” part of the scenario. They ‘know’ it’s real.

Never be afraid to rewrite a scenario’s plot hook to better fit your party’s occupations or backstories. All the details in published adventures should be considered more as suggestions rather than as strict guidelines.

If you’d like to see more of the book “in action,” so to speak, I’ve actually featured it a few times on my Twitch streams, using it very much as I describe above as a spur for commentary and deeper thought. (You can see one of these streams here.)

Along similar lines, I think it could be quite rewarding to organize a GM’s book club, gathering fellow masters of the game and using Keeper Tips as a prompt text for any number of wide-ranging discussions.

Ultimately, whether for your own private circumspection or as the nucleus for shared discussion, I can strongly recommend slipping a copy of Keeper Tips into your own pocket.

Grade: B+

Editor: Mike Mason
Contributors: Daniel Aniolowski, Sean Branney, Allan Carey, Keris McDonald, Jason Durall, Paul Fricker, Bob Geis, Lynne Hardy, Bridgett Jeffries, Jo Kreil, David Larkins, Mike Mason, Mark Morrison, Thom Raley, Matthew Sanderson, Becca Scott, Seth Skorkowsky

Publisher: Chaosium
Price: $17.95
Page Count: 128

Dragonic Alliance - grandfailure

Go to Table of Contents

Let’s cut to the chase: How do you solve the giant problem in Storm King’s Thunder?

(Pun intended.)

DESTROY THE THREAT

The most direct approach would be to simply smash the giants so that none of the giant factions pose a threat.

This can be crudely achieved by going from one giant lair to the next and stabbing giants in the face until there are no more giants, but I think there are both aesthetic and practical problems with this. The short version is that it’s difficult to really take the giant threat seriously if it can be trivially solved by five people acting alone.

This is something a lot of narratives — particularly “chosen one” narratives — get wrong. To understand why, consider two examples that get it right: Star Wars and The Lord of the Rings. Luke, Han, Leia, Chewbacca, and the droids can all be absolutely essential to the rebel victory, but if the Death Star was just blown up by the Millennium Falcon flying solo (pun intended), the stakes would immediately collapse. The same would be true if there were no armies in Middle Earth and Frodo and Sam could just walk up to Mt. Doom unaided and defeat Sauron. In both cases, the heroes are larger than life because they are the essential lynchpins in a much larger effort.

So if the PCs want to pull this off, they’ll need to start forming alliance(s) to make it happen.

PATH OF CONQUEST

The giants are the biggest problem (puns all over the place today), but the root of the problem is the Ordning, and clever PCs can flip this problem around and turn the Ordning into the solution by selecting one of the giant factions and helping them come out on top in the Ordning-Yet-to-Come.

Probably the most straightforward path here is “ally with a giant faction, then help them fight all the other giant clans into submission.” Any clan which has the strength to subjugate the other clans will naturally become Annam’s default pick for the new Ordning.

If you want to push this concept into the campaign, you can easily do so by waiting until the PCs have scored one or two big successes — e.g., crushing one of the giant factions — and then have one of the other giant factions approach them with the idea of forming an alliance. Even better, have two different clans approach them simultaneously, giving the players the opportunity to choose which faction they want to align with. (They could easily end up choosing a third, completely different faction. Or, of course, rejecting the concept entirely and choosing a different path.)

Following this path is a big deal: The choice becomes a crucible in which the characters not only express their most heartfelt beliefs, but shape the future of the Forgotten Realms in a truly fundamental way.

A variant of this idea would be to choose a giant not-of-the-clans and champion them as a new King of the Giants. Harshnag, for example, would be an obvious choice (see Part 3C), but one could easily imagine the players embracing another candidate, such as Zephyros (SKT, p. 33).

Along these same lines, the PCs might champion a clan while also deciding that the current leadership of the clan is kind of shit. (Most of the leaders presented in the book, after all, are villainous jerks.) So stage one of this plan might be removing the troublesome leader and replacing them with someone more amenable to the agenda of the PCs and/or their allies (by staging a formal duel, assassination, or some other surreptitious means).

A DRACONIC CRUSADE

Military campaigns of domination and subjugation, however, are not necessarily the only way a giant clan could have skarra shine upon them.

The reason Annam broke the Ordning is because the giants have allowed the dragons — the ancient enemies of giant-kind — to grow strong. Tiamat, the evil dragon goddess, stirs in her prison, and during the events of the A Tyranny of Dragons campaign she almost managed to escape without the giants doing anything to stop it.

So an alternative path to the Ordning-Yet-to-Come would be to ally with one of the giant clans and help them lead a Draconic Crusade. Such a clan would mark themselves as ready to lead the giants into a new era.

The sequence from Storm King’s Thunder in which Iymrith is hunted down in her lair could obviously serve as a seed here, but there are a number of other dragons detailed in the campaign book as well that we can develop.

A super-ambitious approach here would be to also remix A Tyranny of Dragons and run it simultaneously with Storm King’s Thunder: Annam isn’t angry because the giants were lackadaisical about Tiamat’s threatened return; he’s angry because it’s happening right now. Finding ways to seed the activities of the Cult of the Dragon into Storm King’s Thunder is certainly non-trivial, but probably not overwhelmingly so if you’re using node-based campaign design.

Something to note with any of these “ally with the giants” options for the campaign finale is that they will almost certainly represent a seismic thematic shift in giant society: The new Ordning will have been established on a principle of cooperation between the giants and the “little folk.” As a divine mandate from heaven, this will sink deep into the culture and politics of giant-kind, with ramifications that will be felt for years, decades, and even millennia. This might include stuff like:

  • Giant pilgrims coming to the communities of humans, elves, dwarves, and others to help and learn the lessons of the little folk.
  • A political alliance between giants and the Lords’ Alliance, perhaps representing a joint effort to wipe out the Cult of the Dragon. (Either initiating a Draconic Crusade, if it hasn’t already begun, or continuing it, perhaps even pursuing the Cult into the East.)
  • The founding of a New Ostoria ruled jointly by both giants and little folk.

Tip: You might want to use an epilogue structure for your campaign finale, allowing you to emphasize these long-term effects of the PCs’ actions.

LEAD THE FUTURE

Along similar thematic lines, rather than having the PCs choose their horse for the Ordning race, you could instead have one or more of them saddle up as the new King of the Giants.

There are a few ways you could seed this option into the campaign:

  • Giants who are defeated (or who see their leader defeated) by the PCs might bend the knee.
  • Outriders of a clan whose citadel the PCs have wiped out might seek them out.
  • Giant scholars like Zephyros and/or Countess Mulara (SKT, p. 113) might seek out the PCs to chronicle their deeds, creating — perhaps alongside Harshnag — the beginnings of a giant retinue and counsellors.
  • Rogues, exiles, and other lone giants who have become separated from giant society — either before or because of the breaking of the Ordning — might seek the PCs out, either to get revenge on their former clans, in an effort to save their people, or for any other reason that makes sense given the PCs’ agendas and actions.

Old school D&D had the concept of high-level characters simply “attracting followers” due to their renown, and this would follow a similar logic (and tie in nicely with the broader concepts of forming alliances): The PCs are building a rep for themselves, and like Robin Hood or Spartacus or Guan Yu, they can gather a retinue of NPCs inspired by their deeds.

This path can then be escalated with divine connotations, for example:

  • Giant pilgrims and/or warrior bands seek out the PCs, claiming to have followed “the beacon of Annam” and to see them “illuminated by the light of Annam.”
  • The chosen PC(s) begin receiving cryptic visions from Annam.

This is likely all happening while the PCs are simultaneously pursuing a Path of Conquest, a Draconic Crusade, or both.

In any case, all of these threads can ultimately culminate with the PC(s) actually being anointed by Annam as the new leader of the giants during the forging of a new Ordning. This could happen during a communion with the Eye of the All-Father. (In fact, the PCs being responsible for rediscovering the lost oracle of Ostoria could play a significant role in the divine path.) One could imagine a ceremony in which representatives from all of the giant clans come to the Eye — summoned by decree, drawn by Annam’s will, or brought in captivity — and are present for Annam’s manifestation on the mortal plane.

If any of the PCs are a half-giant or goliath (or something of similar flavor), they would be a natural fit for this, but even that isn’t necessary. It wouldn’t be the first time Annam disowned the giants and spurned their failures. His primary goal remains the restoration of Ostoria as a perfect society on the mortal plane, and the destruction of the dragons who have so often sought (or achieved) Ostoria’s destruction. If he comes to believe that scions of the little folk are the most capable of achieving those goals — helping to fuel a rebirth of giant cultures which have become stagnant and moribund — then a radical transformation of giant society isn’t out of the question.

Perhaps such character(s) might become known as Divine Regents, leading the giants until such time as the Promised King comes at last. (A prophecy which may not be fulfilled until centuries from now.) Or perhaps Annam might give them the divine gift of giantdom, creating a new caste of giants.

Go to Part 5C: Running the Final Act

Random GM Tip: Pineappling

January 19th, 2024

Sunglass Pineapple - RomixImage

During my last Twitch stream, we were taking a peek at Keeper Tips, a pocket book of collected wisdom published by Chaosium for the 40th Anniversary of Call of Cthulhu and featuring snippets of useful advice curated from a couple dozen creators. One of the tips we looked at was:

The pineapple on the sideboard. Only put into a scene, session, or scenario what you want your players to investigate. If you put a pineapple on a sideboard in a room they enter, they will investigate it.

The point being that almost anything noteworthy or unusual that you describe in the game world will almost certainly attract the players’ attention, and if they can’t figure out why this thing exists or what it does — often because it is, in fact, just a pineapple — it will only fuel their curiosity. Beware of trivialities metamorphosizing into voracious timesinks that can swallow a session whole!

But I noted that there was, in fact, a practical purpose to which these pineapples could be put:

What if you wanted the players to get distracted?

For example, imagine that the PCs have suddenly veered right and driven off the edge of your prep. You could, of course, call for a break or end the session early, but another option would be to put a pineapple on the nearest sideboard. As the players descend upon the pineapple, vociferously debating with each other about its true meaning and purpose, you’re suddenly free behind your screen to rapidly sketch out a new dungeon level; pull together the stat blocks for a flock of Triad mooks; google blueprints for a mansion; throw together a quick ‘n dirty social event; or whatever else the occasion might call for.

Chat immediately dubbed this technique “pineappling.”

Iconoplast: Dude. I think this GM is pineappling us!

Kevin: No way, man! This has gotta be a clue!

You could even keep a small stockpile of such enigmas in your notes, ready to be deployed whenever an unexpected scene needs to be filled. (101 Curious Items could, in fact, serve such a purpose.)

OPPORTUNISTIC PINEAPPLING

Of course, as the original tip suggests, there’ll likely be plenty of pineapples in your campaign that appear out of nowhere. You’d think you’d need to put the pineapple some place conspicuous, but you can just as easily put it in a fruit bowl or store it in a pantry, and you’ll still inevitably hear a player say something like, “A pineapple is a tropical fruit and out of season! What is it doing here?” or even, “Why would you put a pineapple in a fruit bowl?”

“Because it’s fruit…?” you’ll think to yourself, but it’s too late. The obsession has begun.

And the broader tip here is to take advantage of these moments. Whether the PCs are puzzling over pineapples or debating strategy amongst themselves, learn to identify these periods of grace and shift your attention away from what the players are doing so that you can focus on other tasks:

Take chaos and restore it to a state of order.

But when your work is done — or if you have no such maintenance to perform — it will be time to get the players to put the pineapple down. At this point, there’s a key question to ask:

Are the players having fun with their pineapple?

If so, then more often than not, it’s fine to just let them have their fun. If possible, default to yes and see if you can find some way to give the players some small reward for their efforts. (Even if it’s just a laugh at themselves as they realize the absurdity of dissecting a pineapple.) For example… why do the Thorndikes have a pineapple in their fruit bowl out of season? Could it have been given to them as a gift by the Tharsian merchants who are trying to buy the jade lion? Maybe!

When fun threatens to become frustration — or if you can see the eyes of the non-obsessed players at the table beginning to glaze over despite their comrade’s enthusiasm — it’s time to bring things to a close. Broadly speaking, you’re looking to either provide a distraction from or a definitive conclusion to the pineapple peering.

Distractions, for example, could include:

  • The PCs hear some bad guys in the hallway outside the pantry.
  • If the PCs have split up, cut to the other half of the group. When you cut back, use a leading prompt to push players away from the pineapple: “Okay, let’s go back to Iconoplast. Now that you’re done examining the pineapple, what are you doing next?”
  • Ask an uninvolved player what their character is doing while the pineapple is being studied. Resolve that, and then, once again, use a leading question to push the pineapple PC into a new activity.

A definitive conclusion, on the other hand, can be achieved by:

  • Opportunistically identifying a skill check and then framing the outcome of the check to clearly declare that there’s nothing to be done with the pineapple. (e.g., “After several minutes of intense scrutiny, you conclude that this is, in fact, an ordinary pineapple and nothing more. What do you want to do now?”)
  • Asserting a cost and seeing if they’re willing to pay it. “You’ve spent several minutes talking about this pineapple. How long are you planning to continue examining it?” If they’ve become sufficiently obsessed to pay the cost, that’s fine, just make sure you actually apply the cost. (For example, start making random monster checks. Make sure the dice are ominously loud as you roll them.)
  • As mentioned before, opportunistically give them some small reward (“This is clearly a Tharsian pineapple; it couldn’t have come from any of the local farms”) and then immediately prompt them for a new action. “Okay, now what are you going to do?”

Each of these, you’ll note, features a strong pivot and prompt asking the players for what they do next. Stubborn players may nevertheless stick with the pineapple, but most will take the hint — often subconsciously doing so without ever realizing the hint was given (“What do you want to do now?” is, after all, a question they hear all the time at the table) — and move on.

When it comes to that stubborn player, however, the ultimate solution is to break the fourth wall and simply declare out of character — as the game master speaking directly to the players — that they have found everything there is to find and there is nothing more to be achieved here.

You can soften the blow by giving them some final bit of information for their efforts (again, that opportunistic reward) while saying, “And that’s all, folks!” Alternatively, you can often achieve a similar effect by asking them, after definitively establishing that they’ve learned everything they can/need to, if there’s anything else they want to do before the scene ends. (This is a little bit of psychological judo, since it puts them in the driver’s seat.)

What you want to make sure you avoid, however, is having the pineapple turn into a grenade. (Pun intended.) The most important thing here is to make sure that you’re not judging them or mocking them for their interest in the pineapple.

After all, pineapples are fun!

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