KELLY C
Queen Dani Rainybrith of House McDragonface, First One They called This, Queen of the Eunuchs, Some Slaves, and Other Random Dudes, Lady of the Umpteen Kingdoms and Protectess of Eastereg, Lady of This Castle I Guess, Kelly C of the Bigass Meador, the Flame Retardant, and Handcuff Remover. When Kelly C isn’t posting pictures of her adorable kids (#dragonmom), she enjoys horseback riding, wine tasting, and deep conversations with her hubby, Karl Go-Go. She and her brother don’t talk anymore. He knows what he did.
KARL GO-GO
Whenever a Sorippedi dancer loses a dance-off, they must cut their hair. Karl Go-Go has never cut his hair. He has worked his way through the Nine Free Dance Clubs, conquering each of them in turn, and now he’s ready to bring his act – and his fan club, the Raving Horde – to Eastereg, where he hopes to make waves in the competitive partner-dancing scene with his new wife Kelly C and earn a spot on Dancing with the Dragons, the hottest show around. Dragon Picking? The Jester’s Landing Shuffle? The Gold Pour? Go-Go has mastered all the moves of the dance floor, including the most important move of all: After all, a Karl who cannot Ride the Pony is no Karl.
RURAL JURAH
“Staberys Rainybirth, no stabbing! Staberys, no stabbing! Staberys, no stabbing!” Rural did the best he could, but Staberys never really understood the call of the dance and never accepted that Kelly C and Karl Go-Go had become united in their passion for a good two-step.
Rural Jurah was once the finest dance coach in Eastereg. When he was a younger man, he married his dancing partner, Lynette, after they won state together. Lynette, tragically, was addicted to spangly leotards, and was disappointed when Rural became more interested in line-dancing. Desperate to keep his wife happy, Rural eventually sold their back-up dancers into slavery… which, it turns, out is very, very, very illegal.
LORD VARIES
Do you have a friend who you would trust with your life? Good for you! Odds are pretty high that he’s actually selling you out to Lord Varies. The good news is that Lord Varies swaps sides so often that he’ll probably be working for you by next week and your secrets will be totally safe with him.
DRAGONS
ROAR, roar, roar. Roar, ROAR, roar. Roar, ROAR. ROAR, ROAR, roar. ROAR, ROAR, ROAR. ROAR, roar. Roar, roar, roar.
Did… did you see what those Dragons said? And you’re just going to publish that filthy language on your blog??
When a dragon tells you to publish something, you publish it.