Why were the PCs always getting lost in Castle Ravenloft?
The dead ends.
Did you hear that Strahd has started writing poems dedicated to Tatyana?
He went from bat to verse.
What’s Strahd’s favorite artifact?
The neck of Vecna.
What should the PCs never say when answering Strahd’s invitation?
Bite me!
Why does Count Strahd have Wizard levels?
He’s a neck-romancer.
Why are there no mosquitoes in Barovia?
Strahd eliminated the competition.
Why did Strahd join the Creative Commons?
He likes his artists open range.
What happened when the PCs ran from Strahd and he gave chase?
They finished neck and neck!
Why doesn’t Strahd go on adventures?
He sucks the life out of the party.
Why didn’t the players enjoy the Castle Ravenloft campaign?
Strahd was a real pain in the neck!
Why was everyone upset about the 10 Greatest D&D Villains list released by Wizards of the Coast?
They forgot to count Strahd!
How do you beat Strahd at poker?
Raise the stakes!
Did you know that Strahd and Auril had a love child? Unfortunately, the baby suffered from a serious congenital condition…
A severe case of frostbite.
Why doesn’t Strahd incorporate Ravenloft?
He’s not a big fan of stakeholders.
Why doesn’t Count Strahd ever go to therapy?
He’s bad at self-reflection.
After you’ve killed Count Strahd, where do you go to loot his gold?
The blood bank.
Why did Strahd need a cure disease spell?
He couldn’t stop coffin.
What should the bard play while you’re fighting Count Strahd?
Another One Bites the Dust.
Did you hear about Strahd and Tatyana?
He loved in vein.
Why does Strahd always fail his Dexterity (Stealth) check?
He can’t stop coffin.
Why did Strahd want to kill the PCs?
They drove him batty.
Why did Count Strahd have to move out of Castle Ravenloft for a month?
It was getting re-vamp-ed!
What spell does Count Strahd use to control the drawbridge on Castle Ravenloft?
Re-moat control.
Why can Strahd never take a joke?
He’s pun-dead.
Just 77 left to go before you can publish a cheap 101 Jokes book to flood the shelves of novelty book stores everywhere.
Not sure I can actually punch out the bottom of this barrel I’m scraping.
Maybe I can flesh it out with jokes about other iconic D&D villains and sell it on the DMs Guild.
Why is Strahd so punitive of his wives’ mistakes?
His ultimate goal is tit for Tat.
What did Strahd say about Barovia’s weather after returning from holiday?
He mist it.
Did you know Strahd never lets anyone leave without insisting they come over for dinner?
He’s very smothering.
Why does Strahd always boast to Tatyana that he’s a wizard?
He wants her to know he’s a neck-romancer.
(neck-romancer is so funny. I don’t know if you intended it but it looks like a euphemism for a vampire XD)
Love this, more useful than Ptolus!
These are terrible, wonderful, extremely silly and yet somehow I love all of them. Happy 2024!
Why did Strahd quit playing card games?
He found them a Harrowing experience.
Is Strahd too old to keep being a final boss?
I don’t know about that, but he IS getting a little long in the tooth.
How can you hurt Strahd with a compliment?
Tell him he looks Radiant.
Why can’t anybody pass through the mists around Strahd’s domain?
Nobody has approved their Barrow Visa.