The Alexandrian

The Cape

February 1st, 2011

The Cape

So I watched the first few episodes of The Cape on Hulu. The show has some half decent pulp coolness going for it, but the scripts suck. A lot.

CHESS: “I’m going to frame you for being Chess and then kill you! The world will think Chess is dead and my public persona will take the credit for eliminating his threat!”

Clever plan. Explain to me why Chess immediately resumes the Chess identity?

Then we have the super-secretive Orwell who insists that no one can be allowed to see her face… and yet she is constantly going out into the field and having public chats with the Cape.

CAIN: “I am a member of a secret order of assassins so totally secret that it’s a really big deal that our existence has just now been confirmed with completely circumstantial evidence! Our modus operandi? Well, we have massive identifying tattoos on our forearms and we also leave calling cards at all of our assassinations.”

Winner of the Least Secretive Secret Society Award for three years running.

NEWS REPORTER: “Mr. Portman is the only city councilor willing to deny the Big Bad Evil Corporation control over the city’s prisons! The vote is tomorrow!”

Okay, well, I guess if he’s the only vote against it then ARC doesn’t have much to worry about… So why is ARC trying to assassinate him?

MR. PORTMAN: “I’ve just been told that Mr. Fleming is trying to kill me with poison. I think I’ll go have dinner with him… At the restaurant that he owns…”

Really? Really?

TEACHER: “Here’s a new student. His last name is Faraday.”

KIDS: “Faraday? That’s the same last name as a criminal who was killed several weeks ago! This must be his kid!”

Wow… That’s quite the leap of logic there. I mean, it’s true. But that doesn’t make it any more absurd for the kids to immediately make that association. It’s as if some kid in the Marvel universe had the last name “Richards” and everyone assumed he must be the fifth member of the Fantastic Four.

There’s quite a bit of low-level nonsense in the dialogue, too.

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